So today I'm going to kick it off with the very basics of long distance relationships: how to make them work! There are a few very important things that go into successful LDRs.
1. Communication: This one is huge! Probably one of the most important things you need to have in your relationship is communication. In an LDR, you aren't physically together, so if something is bothering you, you need to talk about it! He/she is not there to see you, so they can't tell if you're upset unless you tell them. And trust me, keeping things to yourself and not talking about them can only lead to fights. It's best to get things out in the open and talk about them, otherwise you could have some serious problems. Yes, I struggle with this in my own relationship. And yes, it does lead to fights. And let me tell you, fights are not fun! In a LDR, it's very important that you are both okay with what's going on in the relationship. And if you're not, you need to talk about it. This also goes for just.. talking. Make sure to speak to your SO at least once a day. Even if you know you're going to be super busy and can't spend all your time talking to them, just letting them know is often very appreciated.
2. Trust: This is another huge one. The main reason some LDR's don't work out is because of doubts. If you can't trust your SO, then why are you in the relationship? Again, you're not around each other. You can't see them all the time, so sometimes you have no idea what they're doing. But if you have strong trust, that's okay. And if you're the person on the other end, and your partner is questioning you, don't get mad. It makes you look defensive and almost guilty. Reassurrance is huge if you're partner is having doubts. Because the sad truth is that it's going to happen. And as much as it sucks to say, it's natural.
3. Romance: Yes this is big too. Since you're far apart, and can't just have sex whenever you feel like it, you have to do something to keep that spark alive. It's good to do things together. It's important to take some time and spend it together. Maybe on Friday nights you have a Skype date where you watch movies, or you send each other pictures throughout the day to help them feel included. With whatever you do, you're only strengthening your relationship.
4. Take Advantage: Yes, a long distance relationship can actually be a good thing! As much as it sucks to be apart from the one you love, LDRs do offer some advantages. Spend time with family and friends, spend time by yourself. Work on yourself. For example, to keep myself occupied while we're apart, I go to the gym and work out. It's a good way to distract myself, and I get a healthy work out out of it!
5. Visit Often: This is important. If you're able to, try and plan trips to see each other. Seeing each other every once in a while is super healthy for your relationship. You can spend actual time together, and it's a refresher for the relationship. It reminds you why you're making this journey together, and gives you awesome memories to reflect on.
6. Stay Positive: If you're going to mope around all the time, the relationship can become a little too stressful. I get that being apart from your SO really sucks, but you can't mope all the time! Be happy that you two are together and that you love each other enough to do this. I'm not saying that you can't have your down moments, because it's going to happen. But don't let it become such a constant thing.
7. Talk About the Future: I know guys don't always like to talk about this, but for people in LDRs, this can be the best passtime there is. There has to be some sort of shining beacon that you both have to look forward to, and talking about the future can be it. It gives you something to strive for, something to look forward to while you're stuck looking at your SO through the computer. Even if these future plans don't happen, that's okay. It's bonding time between the two of you, where you can get to know the other person better and find out what kind of future they have in mind for you.
That's it for today, lovlies! I hope some of this was helpful. I know a lot of different LDR blogs have this stuff on it, but it's a good first kick off post for LDLW.
I hope you have a great Wednesday!
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