Being Plus Sized

All my life, I've grown up with the idea ingrained in my head that being plus sized is a very bad thing. After I hit puberty in 2nd/3rd grade, I became a chubby kid and I never really lost that weight. For a long time I stayed around the same size, but near the end of middle school and into high school I went up a size. 

I panicked, knowing that I was getting closer to the dreaded plus size section of the store. But not quite, I could still shop in the regular women's sizes. Even the juniors sizes for shirts and such. The only problem was the jeans I wore never fit just right. They were either too big in the legs and too tight in the hips, or they fit my legs just right but then I was left with this super huge waist that looked awful. I couldn't find a pair of pants that were just right. Until the day I decided to venture into Torrid. 

I think everyone knows that Wal-Mart, Target, Goodwill, and other places like that has awful plus sized clothes. They just don't look appealing at all, and it was drilled into my head that I should be disgusted with myself if I ever needed to get those types of pants. 

I walked into Torrid expecting the worst. I went in there hating myself for even considering shopping at a plus size store. But when I tried that first pair of jeans on in the dressing room, holy crap did my opinion change. For the first time in forever, I was wearing a pair of jeans that fit me perfectly. They fit my legs, they fit my hips, and they even made my butt look good! The next pair of jeans I tried on had the same effect, and then I started to have a change of mind. 

I had learned to hate plus sized clothing. I thought that if you had to wear plus sized clothing you were a disgusting person and you needed to lose weight. That's not the case. Very far from it. I don't need a size tag on my clothes to tell me anything. All it means is that I need to shop for that size. It doesn't define who I am, it doesn't tell me that I'm ugly or a terrible person. 

And you know what the most important thing I discovered is? I like being plus sized. I really do. Just because I have a few extra pounds on me doesn't mean I'm not a human being. There are so many plus sized people out there who are stunning and gorgeous and how am I any different from them? Torrid has really fricking adorable clothes and I love shopping there. For the first time in my life, I'm not afraid to shop for clothes that actually fit me. I have plenty of clothes that don't fit me that I wore because it was highest size I could go before I got to plus size. I put them on now, and they are so uncomfortable. Now that I know how absolutely wonderful it is to have clothes that fit me, that flatter my body and make me look good, I know I'm not going back. 

Being plus sized doesn't mean a damn thing unless you tell yourself it does. And that's the one thing I'm still working on overcoming. I have to tell myself daily that it doesn't matter what size I am. After spending so many years believing that being fat was the worst thing a person could be, I have a lot of work to do. Day by day I'm overcoming that way of thinking, and embracing the person I am. Do I want to lose weight? Of course, I think everyone can think of a few pounds they'd like to lose. But I want to focus more on being healthy. I would rather lead a healthy life, and if I happen to lose weight because of that, that's great. But I'm not going to obsess over it like I have been. 

Another thing that has been weighing on my mind lately is that it really sucks that for some people, they have conditions for being friends with/loving someone. If you're so shallow that all you can see when you look at me is the fat on my body, then I want you to pack your bags and leave. If you can't love me as a plus sized girl, I don't want you around. I want to be enough for people. I don't want other people telling me what I should and shouldn't do. 

"You should go work out!" Why? Why should I work out? Is there a reason? Oh, because I should lose weight? Suck it. 

"You shouldn't eat that, it's bad for you." Oh, but you can eat it? It's just as bad for you as it is for me. What's the difference if I eat it vs. you eating it? 

So, to sum this whole big long post up, the whole message I was getting at today is this:

I am plus sized, and I am okay with that. If you can't handle that, or can't accept that fact, I don't want you around in my life. I do not live to please you, I live to please myself.

P.S. Plus sized people are more fun to snuggle with. We're like a huge warm pillow that hugs back. And I have big boobs, so I'll never have to spend a crapton of money getting a boob job. Hah, take that!