Hello 2015!

Happy New Year everyone!! Good Lord has this been a year! Looking back on everything that's happened, it's hard to believe that it all happened in 2014. At the same time, this year seemed to fly by. 

I turned 20, Dan and I made it "facebook official" that we're a couple for the 4th time, I spent Easter with him. I got promoted to full time at my job. My dad moved up north and I moved in with my mom again. Dan surprised me at the end of August, I spent Halloween with him. We started putting together ACTUAL REAL LIFE PLANS TO MOVE IN TOGETHER!!! (Can you sense my excitement??) 

And finally, I wrapped 2014 up by spending it with my family and my boyfriend. We didn't do anything crazy, we just hung out and watched the ball drop, but being able to spend the last seconds of 2014 and the first ones of 2015 with them made it the best thing ever. 

This upcoming year is going to bring a huge amount of changes. And I literally mean HUGE changes! Like, moving to a new state kind of changes. I've been waiting for 2015 to come for such a long time that it's hard to believe it's actually here. This is the year Dan graduates college, this is the year my sister graduates high school. This is the year I pick up my life and move to a whole new state to start a life with the guy I love. I'm scared out of my mind, but I'm equally as excited and anxious for it to happen. They say if you're dreams don't scare you, you're not dreaming big enough. Well, my dreams must be freaking ginormous because I'm terrified. But that's a whole new blog post down the road a bit. 

Here's to 2015 - may it be the best year yet!

Christmas Wish List

In lieu of the approaching Christmas season, everyone has been asking me what I want for Christmas. I'm having a hard time answering this because I don't really want anything. The things I want for Christmas are coming, but not for a few months yet. I want an apartment, I want things for the apartment, and I want enough money to move into said apartment. I want a new car, I want money to pay off my car and get a new one. So overall nothing people could really give me. But there were a few things I was able to come up with:

1. A new winter coat // 2. an iPhone 6 (I know, I know. I'm not getting this lol) //3. Books! (if you would like my book list, feel free to ask) // 4. A calligraphy set // 5. How the Grinch Stole Christmas the book // 6. A weekend trip to Chicago

I know, the iPhone and the Chicago trip is a bit of a stretch but you never know lol. Some other things I would definitely not be opposed to:

• a Torrid giftcard
• a Barnes & Noble gift card
• money, because bills
• a new car 
• a gift card to some place that sells stuff for apartments. So like, anywhere.
• Christmas decorations that I can use next year when I'm in my own place
• a passport, or the money to get one
• Something personalized/engraved
• Jewelry, because I'm a girl and it's a typical want for us female-folk

I feel bad asking for money, but I'm at a point in my life where it would really solve about 99% of my problems. But that's nothing new or special to any other adult out there. Ultimately, I just want to spend time with my loved ones. I want to see their faces as they unwrap the gifts I've gotten for them and I want to soak up as much time with Dan as I can before he goes back to school. I try not to make it seem like I want too much, because Christmas is the time of year to  be thankful for what you have, and to spend time with family. I really only made this list because people keep asking me for one. 

Back To School Care Package!

I know it's already about halfway through September, but I wanted to wait for Dan to get this before I posted it's contents all over the internet. 

Back to school sounds kind of.. elementary school-ish, but that's what this is. Dan just started his senior year of college, and I put together a little care package to kick off the school year. If anyone needs a little inspiration for their own back to school care package, check this out! 

As you can see up there, I got him a bunch of food/snack food that he likes. So there's a box of pop-tarts - the thing he has for breakfast every day. I also got him a 3 pack of gum, lifesaver mints, and a box of beef jerky, although it's hidden under the gum. 

He's also a fan of Tangled, though I'm not sure he would admit that out loud. Hehe. I was at the Disney store a couple of weeks ago, saw Pascal and knew I had to get it for my man. 

Now for the letters :) 

In the "Open Me Right Away" letter, I wrote out a brief summary of all the stuff I got him, and what all of the letters were for, 

This group of letters is set aside for the first of each month up until May. They're little encouraging letters to remind him to stay strong and that I love him. 

This group of letters took some prep. I wrote out a  bunch of letters for him to take advantage of as he needs. I've seen this idea on Pinterest before and I've been wanting to do it for a while and I finally got the chance too :) The ones I did were:

Open when...

- you need to know how much I love you

- you miss me

- the distance is too much 

- I'm mad at you

- you're mad at me

- you're sick

- you're stressed

- you need a boost/encouragement

- you had a bad day

In each of them I put some sort of encouraging note, and a few bible verses for him to look up. In the "miss me" one I included a small USB drive with a bunch of songs that remind me of him, and all of the pictures we have together so he can look back on them and smile. 

I was really excited about this one, and I'm glad that it's not something that he goes through all at once, that the letters will last him a while. And he liked it too :) 

If you guys have any other suggestions for care packages, feel free to drop a comment :) I'm always looking for more ideas! 

9 Months

First of all I'm going to clear up the fact that the title of this post does not actually indicate that I'm pregnant. So family, if you're reading, get that thought out of your mind! 

I had the best surprise of my life this last weekend. Dan was packing his stuff to move back into his dorm, I was home alone because the rest of my family was house sitting for my uncle and I wanted to skype. But he said he was too busy to. On Saturday, I went to work thinking that I wouldn't be able to talk to Dan for a while because he was going to be moving his stuff into his dorm. So I was just sitting at home waiting for my mom to come pick me up so I could go help house sit. They finally got to my apartment and told me they needed my help carrying groceries in because they went shopping.

So I went outside...

Rounded the car...

And saw Dan standing there! 

It was.. the best day ever. I had day dreamed about something like that happening for the longest time. (The last 3 years, to be specific) So we got to spend one last weekend together before school started. And it was wonderful! We didn't have anything planned and we still had a lot of fun. We went out to eat the first night we were there, and then we had both gotten nominated to do the ALS ice bucket challenge so we recorded that together. We got to sleep all curled up and snuggly together, which was my favorite part. 

I wouldn't have traded that weekend for anything in the world.

But he's back at school now, and today was his second day of classes. 

So this marks the beginning of the end. We've been at this long distance deal for 3 years now and the end is finally in sight. We have to get through this next 9 months before we can start taking the next step, and it's going to require a lot of patience. It's not going to be an easy 9 months, but we've come too far to give up now. 

For my sanity, I hope it goes by quickly. 

May 9th, I'm ready for you. I've been waiting for you for a very long time and we're almost upon you. (That's his graduation date, if you didn't put it together yet) 

the gorgeous flowers my love got me while he was here <3

As Of Today...

I have loved you for 1,662 days.

That's equals out to 4 years, 6 months, and 19 days.

You've been on my mind for 39,864 hours,

Which means you haven't left my heart for 2,391,840 minutes,

Meaning that 143,510,400 seconds later, I'm still thinking of you and loving you with everything I have.

If I live to be 100, I will have loved you for 30,749 days

That's 84 years, 2 months, and 6 days.

If I live to be 100, you will have been on my mind for 737,976 hours,

And in my heart for 44,278,560 minutes.

Meaning that for 2,656,713,600 seconds, I wouldn't have been able to stop thinking about you and loving you with all of my heart and soul.








The Upper Penninsula - Memorial Weekend Recap

So I haven't been the best blogger, I know. I've been super busy! I spent all last week with Dan doing a whole bunch of different stuff, and then on Wednesday we decided that I was going to take a spontaneous road trip up north with him and stay the weekend. His dad lives up there, so it was mostly a trip to get him up there before he has to go back to Detroit for his internship.

So when we got there, his dad had a bonfire going and his aunt and uncle were up there. So all hung out for a while before everyone headed inside for bed. The next day I took a sauna (having a Finnish boyfriend has it's perks).

After that we took his 4-wheeler to go exploring around the area. And let me tell you, it gets really dusty out there. A lot of roads out there are dirt roads, so riding the 4-wheeler around, you kick up a bunch of dust and you get kind of dirty. For future reference, ya know. 

We stopped on a bridge that went over the Escanaba River, and then meandered under the bridge to continue exploring closer to the water. 

After we explored around the bridge we continued on our merry way to Boney Falls and the Boney Falls dam.

We finished our day off with watching both Madagascar movies. Because we're actually little kids. :)

On Sunday we went into town to spend a little time with Dan's grandpa and uncle. They live right on the Escanaba river, and they've got the most beautiful backyard. Dan did a little fishing while we were there, but didn't catch anything. 

After we got back from that, Dan and I loaded up the 4-wheeler again and took off, heading for a place to go fishing at. 

See a little peek of the river in that last picture? We found this cool set up way back in the woods, but the bugs were so horrible that we didn't stay for very long. We spent most of our time cruising around on all these back roads, and it was a really fun time. When we got back we took turns in the sauna again and watched a movie before bed time. Which I ended up falling asleep during. But can you blame me, with all the adventures going on here? 

Monday morning I got all my stuff packed up and said goodbye before I headed out. Leaving sucks, and it gets harder every time. At least I have a bunch of good memories to reflect on until I see him again. At least I got this pretty picture on the way home:

I took it as my own personal message from up there that soon we won't have to say goodbye anymore <3 

LDL: The Ups of A LDR

May is finally here! I spent the first part of April wishing it would hurry up so I could get my butt over to Michigan, and then after I got back, I spent the rest of the month wishing it would hurry up and end so May could come because May means Dan's done with school and he's going to come back home for a little bit before he starts his internship. So I'm sorry, April, for wanting to rush right through you.

Although for the first day of May, the weather is terrible where I'm at. I won't even show you a picture, it's so bad. Overcast and rainy, ahhh hello May!

Anyway, a couple weeks ago I brushed on why LDRs royally suck, and I don't want to give anyone a wrong impression of them if you've never been in one. Believe me, I can't tell you how many times I've been asked why. Why I'm putting myself through this, why I don't just give up and date someone who lives closer to me. Why why why. I'm not saying LDRs are all rainbows and unicorns, because they aren't. LDRs are very hard and they take work; but that's not to say there aren't definite plus sides to all of this. List it up? Sure, why not!

1. LDRs help you to appreciate what you have

I have friends that take their SO for granted, and it drives me bat-shit crazy. I have to hear all about how they have to put up with this stupid thing that so-and-so does that irritates them and all I can think is "God, I would love to have to put up with that as long as it means I'm with him". I would rather be with him and be annoyed than not with him at all. It almost makes you love his "annoying" quirks. And I do, I love everything about him, even the things I hate.

 

2. It gives you something to work for

A bunch of people I know are just kind of existing. They go to work so they can pay their bills and that's it. Being in an LDR, it really gives you something to aim and work for. When I'm standing in line at the store, and I'm really being tempted by a candy bar, I'm more apt to put it down and think that it's an extra dollar that I could put towards moving out by him. It gives me a reason to get out of bed instead of hitting the snooze button and calling into work "sick".

3. You can do your own thing

What do I mean? Well, I can get stuff done without getting distracted. Does that sound bad? I hope not. If he was around, all I would want to do is spend time with him and do stuff with him and just be with him. I wouldn't get anything done besides show up for work. Maybe.

 

4. There's more than just the physical stuff

I know of couples that thrive off of the physical stuff in their relationship. In a LDR there is none of that. Thanks, Captain Obvious. But really, you learn to connect in a much deeper way. I love him for him, for who he is and what makes him him, not just his body, which I think a lot of people lack these days, especially the younger ones. He knows me, he knows exactly who I am and there's something about that that's just so powerful and awesome. He's my best friend before anything else, and that's the most important thing.

5. It's still exciting

I still feel like I'm in the honeymoon stage sometimes. We've been together for about 3 years now (on and off) and usually by this time most couples are past the giddy stage. I'm not. I still get butterflies when I'm on my way to see him. I think LDRs are great for keeping that spark alive, which is ultimately the key to keeping the relationship going.

6. The commitment is awesome

There's a certain level of commitment that comes with a long distance relationship. LDRs aren't for the weak, they aren't meant for little flings. If you're going to put all of your time and effort into making this work, you better be committed. And you have to expect the same from your SO. You two are in this together, for the long haul. You don't get into a LDR if you don't want to be together for a long time.

_____________________________

Again, there's a ton more I could list here but I won't make this too long. I hope that all of these ups outweigh the downs for you. I know they have for me. This is what I tell people when they ask me why I put myself through the struggle of a long distance relationship. There's no one else out there in the world that I want to be with. And if that means I have to spend 95% of my time away from him, then so be it. He is worth it, what we have is worth it. Whenever I'm having a rough day, that is what gets me through.

Have a great Thursday, guys. Friday is almost here!

LDLW: Why LDRs Suck

Good morning everyone. Today I was going to talk about why LDRs are good, but then last night/this morning happened and I decided I'm going to cover why they suck instead. A depressing turn, but I'm not feeling too happy right now. So, let's get a list together of why LDRs suck!

 



1. You are super dependent on technology.
If your phone isn't working, you can't talk to them. If your computer isn't working, you can't Skype them. And that really super sucks. Plus, people start making stupid comments about how you're always on your phone. Or how you are always ducking out to make a phone call. Or how you're declining plans to "sit in your room all night" because they don't understand the concept of a Skype date.

2. You and math suddenly become best friends.
If you're in an LDR, that usually means you are doing some kind of countdown. Counting the days until you get to see them, counting the days it's been since you've seen them. Counting the months that you've been apart anc counting how many more until you are together; counting the minutes until you have to pack up and go back home without them. It's like Sesame Street LDR edition.

(I don't necessarily agree with the fact that it gets easier, but it's not so depressing as you get closer to seeing them again)

3. When you're counting down, time goes too slow.
I'm experiencing this now. I'm going to see him next week, and it's taking soooooo looooong to get there!

 

4. And when you do get there, time goes too fast

This is the worst part. Visits are the absolute best, but you're also trying to forget about the fact that you have to pack up and leave eventually. I try to stay happy until the morning I have to leave. Otherwise you can't really enjoy yourself when you should be soaking up any and all time you have to spend with them.

 

5. If you get in a fight, you can't kiss and make up

This one. I'm going through this right now, since I'm a butt head and can't seem to keep my damn mouth shut when I know I'm not going to say nice things. The worst thing ever is fighting, and then not being able to make up. Well, you can make up but you have to go off of hearing "it's okay" and not getting a hug with that. Then you're left feeling like a shit, especially when they have to go for a bit right after that and you're left thinking the worst.

 

 

6. The drive/plane ride/bus ride home is agonizing.

I hate leaving, but the way home doesn't help either. Usually when I go see Dan, I drive. So when I come home, that means a 7 hour long car ride home, by myself, crying until I can't see the road. Driving through Chicago when you're crying is no picnic, let me tell you. After a few hours, I'm okay, but once I see the "Welcome to Wisconsin" sign, the waterworks start all over again. Partly because that means I'm almost home and I don't have to rely on my GPS, and partly because that means my trip is over and I have to go back to living without him.

 

There is a crap ton more reasons. I just can't think of them all right now. Next week I'll cover the original topic, why being in an LDR can be a good thing. I hope you guys have a great day.

 

LDLW: The Two Men In My Life

Morning everyone! It's Wednesday, and that means another installment of long distance loving Wednesday!! Today, we're going to talk about the two men in my life. And no, I'm not talking about my dad (sorry, Dad) or my dog (yes, he counts too!). I'm talking about Dan and Jesus.

I grew up going to a Lutheran elemetary school and going to church as often as we could. Religion has always been a part of my life, and I'm one of the few kids in my 8th grade confirmation class that still actually go to church and really take it seriously. In high school, I didn't necessarily fall away so much as I just kind of pushed it off until later. Whatever that means. I wasn't hearing it every day, so it kind of became not the most important thing anymore. That didn't mean I believed any less or anything, I just didn't go to church as much anymore. I'm not perfect, I'm a sinner too.

After I graduated high school, I spent that summer spending just about every minute with Dan. But then summer ended, Dan went back to school and I now had to figure out what to do with my life, because I still hadn't figured it out. A few weeks into the new school year (for him) we ended up breaking up, and I kind of lost it. I had been putting off my life, because I didn't know what I wanted from it. So I made Dan my life. I don't want to say it was a mistake, but I shouldn't have done it. I should have been thinking of my future more than I did. So for the next few months I sank into a depression.

I was miserable. I was 18, and working a part time job. Not going to school, not looking for a full time job, just working a part time job. And when I wasn't there, I was moping around the house. I spent my mornings down on the couch watching TV, or sleeping in and laying in bed. And then after work, I spent the rest of my day in my bed. I didn't do anything, and I was so miserable. That's when I started talking to Jesus again. Asking him for help, asking him to give me a push in the right direction to figuring myself out. I spent so much time trying to be what I thought Dan wanted. And about early December, I decided that it doesn't matter what his ideal person is, I need to be who I am. And a lot of prayer got me to that point.

I'm supposed to be me, not someone I'm not. And I really learned that in those months. So I started doing things for me, and ever so slowly I started feeling better. I got a second job, and worked my butt off. All the while keeping God front and center in my life again. After I started doing things for me, starting to get ahead for me, Dan came back into my life. He never really left, but for a long time we hardly talked. A couple texts a week to say hi but that was about it. After I started doing things for myself, he became more and more involved in my life again. And now we're back together.

No, I didn't go to college. I don't want to spend a crap ton of money on something I am not that committed to. I don't know what I would go to college for, and I don't want to end up in debt only to not get a job for what I went to school for. It's harder finding a job, yes, but I'm doing it. I'm working at a credit union now. Ever so slowly I'm learning the balance between my life with Dan and my life for myself. Because if I lose myself again, the same thing will happen. And while I did all of this, I didn't do it alone. God gave me the strength to actually get up and do this. If I hadn't started praying again and finding comfort in his words in the Bible, I wouldn't be where I am today.

Another thing I'm still working on balancing is keeping God in my life again. I need him in my relationship, just as much as I needed him in my life back during my personal great depression. What I'm excited about now is helping Dan to find his way to God, too. Not because I don't want to go to church alone, or because I want to show off how much I know about the Bible (even though playing Bible trivia is super fun for me), but I want to share the awesome support system I have through Him. I want to help him find the same comfort and peace and strength I have through God. Plus, when he asks me questions about this, it also helps me. I've forgotten some things, and I'm going back and relearning a lot of thing I've forgotten about and that only helps.

So I'm sorry this was such a long rambling post, but I hope it's helped to maybe inspire some of you reading this. Always keep God front and center in your life, and he will provide. Go to him with anything - worries, troubles, thanks, anything. He'll always be there for you, and he always has time to listen.

Have a great Wednesday.